My Wife, My Life, and Everything Else

It says in the Scripture that God's kindness leads us to repentence. I'm so thankful that He still does that to me, through my wife. Abbey is the perfect woman for me. We've been married over 10 years now, and we have walked through so many difficult times. In some we held each other, in others we pushed ourselves apart. I'm sorry it's taken this long to actually convince me that God really has perfectly put us together. She's who I wish I was at so many times. I've been given the opportunity to be the one that she needs. I've been chosen to be God's hands when she needs holding, His smile to show her that she's loved for who she is, His heart to show her that we're not leaving when she shows she's not perfect, and His mouth for speaking truth into her life. And she's that to me. How perfect! How perfectly hard sometimes too, but still perfect nonetheless. During all those times that we thought we were almost over, we were actually growing closer without even knowing it. The Lord's hand never left. I have been given eyes to see that we are not together to hold each other accountable to "doing" better in life, as much as we're together to hold each other accountable during this journey to sit in God's grace. Sometimes we sit laughing, and sometimes we're in tears. We spend so much energy trying to prove to God and to each other that we are worthy of some level of praise. It's taken 32 years for me to be shown that I can't do it. That's shaming, but still true. I'm a failure! Praise the Lord that He's full of grace. I've asked Him so many times to show me His grace and mercy in a way that I can see it. I've been living with it in my face for 10 years and never saw it. She's His voice, hands, mouth, and eyes! For you skeptics from Bible Colleges, I realize that I can't find true joy in another human, but I CAN find true joy in the one who seiges the hearts of other humans - His body. Christ lives not only in my heart, but in my home. We get so caught up in "making it" in this life, that we turn our backs on the living that we can have with our wives. We can breathe life into them as husbands by being transparent enough to be Christ to them. I want my home to be a community of grace for Abbey and the boys. I can't help but think of the adultress woman's interaction with Christ. He didn't condemn her. Would I have? Are we more offendable than Christ Himself? Our mouths say no, but our actions prove otherwise. Christ is so gracious! He must have a higher priority for us than discipline. It's relationship! It's funny that we don't want that until we know the feeling of being thrown naked into the dirt in shame. Till that point, all we want is praise for our good deeds. However, at that point on the ground, nothing matters but relationship. Our noble deeds don't mean crap. Christ's aggressive grace and mercy don't fit into many of the boxes that we've worked so hard to build for Him to inhabit in our minds. I don't understand a whole lot, but I KNOW that Christ put Abbey and I together, and there's grace in that. I believe that now more than ever. I am in love with my wife because she was made with me in mind. I love my wife because she has shown me God's grace more than anyone ever has. It's no small thing that she's beautiful either. I'm a lucky man because God loves me, and since He's in Abbey, she loves me too. Abbey, no matter where our house is, it'll be home and safe because we're together by design. I look forward to falling more and more with you and Lord. You are THE lady...casually elegant.