Be glad you're disappointed...

Relationships are hard. Not hard like a math problem, but painful. Relationship is life, and life is relationship. When I was a little kid, I thought that life was about toys. The right toys that fit my mood were all I needed to be content in between the food. Most days all I needed was the enviable G I Joe Aircraft and I would have been good. Life felt like it was OVER when I couldn't have the ones that I wanted, but the pain would get worse. When I was in elementary school, life was being able to run faster than my friends and to have them respect me for that. Life felt that it was OVER when I had to face the fact there was someone better than me, but the pain would get worse. When in high school, I thought that being popular was the life that I needed to survive. Life felt like it was over when I was excluded or embarrased, but the pain would get worse. When I was in college, life was about finding and keeping the girl that I was supposed to marry. Life felt like it was over when she wouldn't have me, but the pain would get worse. When I got married to Abbey, life was having her love and respect me so much that I would be satisfied. Life felt like it was over when I realized that I'm usually not very loving or respectable. When we had kids, life was about being the best teacher to my sons. Life felt like it was over when I finally realized all that I had really taught my children. When I turned to the Lord, life was about figuring it all out and trying to fall into the doctrinely correct "ditches". Life felt like it was over when the Lord showed me that He will not be figured out by intellect, boxed in, or mandated by anyone.
These days of being 32 I wouldn't be the least bit excited over a new G I Joe, and I will readily admit that I don't care anymore if I'm faster than my you, and being popular has shown that it's only as long as the moment. I've grown older and wiser, at least in the sense of knowing what won't satisfy. I don't always follow that experience, but I'm usually not shocked in that I'm not truly satisfied whether it's in people, things, or feelings. The Lord is patient, and He'll take as long as it requires to convince us, in the deepest parts of the many caverns and oceans inside of our heart, that He and His commands are all that's worth chasing and counting on at all. People hurt us, things disappoint us, and good-feelings can change in a moment. My natural reaction, then, is to turn to the Lord to avoid the pain and disappointment that comes with life. But He then has become something else I try to use instead of to worship. I'm slowly (and I mean real slow) being shown that He is the only part of me that's good. He's leading me and He's with me always (inside of me), and because of that, I have all that I need. I have all that can possibly satisfy. So is that it? Is that all there is? No. Because I have in Him all that can possibly satisfy, I am now FREE to try to love others like He said, to even be hurt by them, or to even be treated like they don't think that I'm the least bit important to them. Does that hurt? Absolutely. But when we are truly trusting in His presence, it doesn't break us. It gives us the opportunity to run back to Him. When we believe that those other things or people or feelings are what we NEED, we still get hurt when they don't bring peace, but that's also an opportunity to run back to Him. Everything that the Lord brings into our lives are to take us to Him. Sometimes He can nurture us with His blessings and the resulting affection drops us at His feet. Sometimes He can nurture us by allowing hurt, and the resulting pain drives us into His lap. Soak in the comfort from that truth! Both avenues are to strengthen the relationship between us and Him! "All things work together for good...." For too long, I believed that that verse was an empty promise of the lack of pain, disappointment, and conflict in my life. That's just not true. All things work together to bring me to Him. Many times in tears and suffering more than in laughter, and that's still good. I would never change many of the pains that I've experienced (once they are over). They always seem to deepen my relationships with the Lord and everyone around me. Without Him working His love out in me, I'm just a weak man, an imposter, a liar, and everything else that the Lord warned us NOT to be in Scripture. Without Him and His discipline I'd be capable of it all. We should welcome the scars of sanctification. I'm falling more and more in love with the God that's bringing me through my life with all it's trials, pains, joys, etc. He still loves me even though I'm not faster than Him. He still loves you too, and wants you to find who you are in Him. You'll never find the gift of life in the things or the people of this world, they're not to be used like that I don't think.